From admirations to skepticism, from jealousy to confusion; every foreign student of the Chinese language gets various reactions and a loop of repeated questions from her or his surroundings...
Wow, you study Chinese?! It is probably so hard
Well yes it is, but if you really knew how many thousands of hours I spent learning you wouldn't be so impressed.

Can you really speak the language?
Yes, but only my fellow foreign classmates manage to understand what I'm saying.

But I've heard there are dozens of different dialects in China, you cannot speak them all?! (followed by a proud smile of 'how intelligent I am')
Maybe that is why I can only understand 1/36 of the Chinese characters I come across...

Say something in Chinese
'Ni shi bendan!' - that means 'how are you' (god, I really need to learn stronger swear words)

But if there is no alphabet, how do Chinese people type with a keyboard?
They do not need to, they copy paste from the internet.

So now you can read Confucius!
Or listen to Xi Yangyang. 

So when are you beginning doing business with China? knowing Chinese and not channeling it to business is like learning Kong fu and not hitting people with your skill.
So I guess it is 0 out of 2 for me ...

How can you chat online with Chinese friends, I thought their entire internet is censored?
It is not censored, it is filled with soft porn to anesthetize the brain cells of the netizens.

Hey look, I also started learning Chinese on the web! will not really teach you the language mate, maybe only the tones...

Can you help me read the Chinese instructions of this new electronic product I bought?
Mmm... can you wait a few more weeks? My class is now studying the names of colors, next week we study numbers. I might reach the level you need in about 88888 lessons.

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